The Joy of Learning a New Word and the Power of Dictionaries
My life may be hellish but I'm glad I know what paradisiacal means
I was in the car with Drew on Saturday, reading him crossword puzzle clues from The New Yorker, when I came across a word I’d never seen before. “Paradisiacal,” I read, although I’m pretty sure I pronounced it incorrectly as “paradaisical.”
“Paradoxical?” he asked.
No, I said, like paradise, paradisiacal. From context, I figured out that the answer was edenic.
It was a strange word to come across when much of my life feels hellish, the exact opposite.
But then when I got home that night, I was reading and came across “paradisiacal” again. (When I went to find the quote to include it here, I searched what I was sure was the right book but didn't see it, although the hunt reminded me of doing word search puzzles. If I find it down the road, I'll update this post. Perhaps I imagined it in an essay that used “paradise” and “paradoxical,” which I did find. I'm sure I saw it, though, and that's what prompted this post, so I'm going to assume I did.)
Maybe the word was trying to tell me something. Maybe not, but right now, I will take any opportunity to find meaning in life, to cling to something that feels useful and positive, rather than hopeless.
For the last few months, as I’ve been dealing with some intense personal issues, it’s been challenging for me to comprehend that my life will ever be anything even approaching paradisiacal. Instead, I settle for small moments of appreciation, of savoring, of being, if not grateful to be alive, then just acknowledging that I am.
In some ways, this opposite-of-paradisiacal life has forced me into a more vigilant noticing, especially since I’ve stepped back from posting on social media. All the external markers of success I used to cling to have faded and now I do appreciate the “little” things that, cumulatively, often add up to the big things.
Right now, I’m wearing my purple Prince Dearly Beloved t shirt, and the truth is, most days what I’m the most grateful for is getting into my worn, soft, most comfortable black pajama pants, the ones that are usually so warm I have to take them off during the night, and curling up on my velvety green couch under the cashmere blanket Drew gave me and reading. I’ve been picking up books that have been sitting on my shelves for months or years, relearning how to enjoy the magic of words, letting myself get lost in them for enough time to escape into a kind of mental paradise where all the problems without good solutions can take a back burner.
I’ve been giving myself back the gift of time that I used to fritter away on frivolous busywork, and trying to wean my mind off the endless worst-case scenarios it tries to spin, the sense that if I just think hard enough, I can solve all my issues and those of everyone I love. If that were the case, I would probably be feeling pretty close to paradisiacal, but instead, I more often wind up feeling like I’m in quicksand, and that the more I try to escape, the deeper I get pulled in (which I think is how quicksand works?).
I’ve gotten back into doing jigsaw puzzles. I’ve been playing the Connections word game in the morning with Drew, marveling at how our minds work together to solve it. I’ve been opening my arms at random moments for hugs from him, those embraces that let me know that even though I feel like a failure most days, I’m still here, and he loves me even if I feel like I’m falling apart.
That’s why discovering a new-to-me word felt like a gift, and reminded me that learning is something free and easy I have access to every day. It also hasn't escaped my notice that I'm marveling over looking up a word's definition at a time when the dictionary is being banned and pulled and reviewed in some Florida schools. Yes, really, the dictionary. These are strange, sad, and infuriating times, when knowledge itself is under attack.
I started listening to the Merriam-Webster Word Matters podcast, learning all sorts of trivia about the history of words and how they make it into, or in some cases, make it out of, the dictionary. I learned a word that’s fun to say, even if I’ll probably never use it in a sentence beyond today: “snollygoster.” Most fascinating was that the word had been removed from the Merriam-Webster dictionary, but was brought back after Bill O’Reilly used it and people started looking it up.
I came across another word I’ve seen sparingly but is also fun to say, “ensorcel,” while reading historical romance A Rogue’s Rules for Seduction by Eva Leigh. Again, I don’t know if I’ll ever use that word myself, but I’m happy to speak a language where it exists.
For the moment, I’ve decided to not even strive for paradisiacal, but to make sure I pay attention to even the tiniest bursts of anything that shakes me out of the swirling overwhelm, that makes me smile, even if it’s only in my head.
I’d love to know: What are some of your favorite underappreciated words?
I'm so sorry life is so difficult for you now. May you have the strength and support you need <3
Paludal.
Living or occurring in marshy habitat.
I first came across the word in a Joyce Carol Oates book.